Hi Shelby! What a great start to your storybook! I absolutely love the way that your write. You have sort of a dark and twisty way of writing that I love. I like that you try to turn away the readers who believe in happily ever after, but I have always wondered what happened to those who "supposedly" had a happily ever after or if the villains really were gone. You also did a good job in making me want more. You enticed me to want to read more by giving my a little information here there.
I am really excited about the story about the princess whose prince charming did not turn out to be who she thought he was. I also like the once upon a time (tv show) feel it has. I really like the picture that you chose to set the mood with in the introduction as well. Well done! I am looking forward to reading this storybook! Good luck!
I have to say that I really liked your intro! It really set the tone for how the story is going to play out. You did a good job of giving the reader enough information about what’s to come without saturating the intro with specifics, which happens with remarkable repetition. Though I will point out the weaknesses where I see them so that your intro can really make a poignant impression. When you write the first sentence in the form of a question, you need to be very careful not to make it rhetorical. It’s a fairly weak start, because a LOT of stories that try to sound interesting begin with rhetorical questions. And that’s really bad, because you want your first sentence to catch your reader’s attention, and not remind them about the way that a lot of other stories start out. Try making your first sentence like: “If you were to ask the princesses and their husbands about their Happy Ever Afters, how many do you think would tell you they were actually… ‘happy’? What if I told you that NONE of them would?”
Ooh! I loved your introduction. I love that you are going to be telling the stories of what happens after the "Happily ever after"! Such a fantastic way to explore beloved characters in a new way. I can't wait to read your stories.
I loved that you made the introduction into a questionnaire of sorts. The rhetorical questions were really good, and helped me to feel engaged in your intro. By the end of it, I was seriously going "yes yes yes!"
I love the three characters that you chose and cannot wait to see what they have in store for them! Snow White was my favorite movie as a kid, so I'm especially excited to see what happens with her story. Awesome idea, Awesome introduction. I cannot wait to read more. Great job!
Hey Shelby! Great introduction! I liked how you kind of played with the reader and made them believe this was a fun series of fairy tale stories that had the perfect, happily ever after ending but if you keep reading, you find out it isn’t at all! I also like in the intro how you incorporated stories like Snow White and Cinderella because those really are stories that everyone knows so I think it will be really fun to read the new twist you add to the story so that the characters don’t always have that happy ending and perhaps have a more realistic and modern day spin on it. I would have liked to see a more vivid image on your intro page. Maybe one that incorporates some of the traditional fairy tale stories you mentioned. Anyways, great job on this intro and I’m looking forward to reading more from you!
Shelby, I love the cover page of your project! It’s very daunting and sets the tone instantly for your project. Your introduction is also fabulously written! You clearly have the haunting and daunting tone down for your writing that really hooks the reader into wanting to know what is so horrible. Your word choice is very rich which helps to further your sentences throughout your post. I also like the layout of your page, I think staying away from anything too flashy is a good editorial choice. The two elements of gray may get somewhat repetitive and bland, however. So maybe introduce a darker color shade into the mix just to keep a color component that evens out. Your introduction also reminded me of a youtube video called After Ever After – Disney Parody. It’s a one man solo singing project about all the Disney princesses having a horrible time after the happily ever after is done. Good start and good luck!
“Life Doesn’t End at Happily Ever After”- I really like your home page!!! I like the darkness and mystery it brings. It sets the tone nicely for you storybook. Introduction: O my goodness! This is AWESOME!! I want to read more. I want to read more. I want to know what unhappy endings our favorite Disney princess’ went through. This is a brilliant topic by the way. I know some of the original fairy tales are pretty dark, but I love that you’re taking that a step further and creating a version of what life would have been like for them after their happily ever after became reality. This premise reminds me of “Into the Woods.” Have you seen it yet? If not I really think you would enjoy it. It has a lot to do with bring the fairy tales into the real world. Overall, you are off to a fabulous start!!! I really can’t wait to read more!
Shelby, I really enjoyed your introduction to Tragically Ever After. It left me wanting to read more. You were right to say that no one ever really thinks about what happened afterwards. The stories always end with “Happily Ever After.” There must be more. The picture of the woods fits the theme of your storybook. It really sets the mood of your project. It suggests tragedy, sadness, and loss. It shows a darker side to fairy tales. That life would not be life without some struggle or tragedy. Your choice of color tones also adds to the theme of the storybook. You used the colors gray, black, and white instead of the typical fairytale colors like pink, lime green, and yellow. This allows viewers to understand that these stories are not like the other popular fairy tales. They are actually pretty much the opposite. The only suggestion I have for you is maybe you could include pictures of the characters. Perhaps you could depict them sad or in darker tones to go with the theme. Good job Shelby!
Hello Shelby! I really loved your introduction to your storybook and I am really looking forward to seeing the stories you post. The gray color tones of your website really help create the tone of not everything is happily ever after. I also loved the image on your home page. The gloomy forest really creates this air of mystery and uncertainty that goes along with your comment of "Enter If You Dare". I really love your concept of going beyond the happy endings we have traditionally seen with fairy tales. I personally am not a fan of the and they lived happily ever after with a life wrapped up neatly in a bow. I think it's great that you're taking the stories beyond that and telling of the struggles they faced after the supposedly happily ever after. I really love the writing of your introduction. I think the fact that you took the don't way I didn't warn you, and you should turn back now approach is a really great set up for your stories. It reminded me a lot of The Series of Unfortunate Events which I haven't read in years. I'm really looking forward to seeing the stories you create.
The first page of your storybook is very hooking. Of course, I wanted to read more to see what the storybook was going to be about. The first paragraph of your introduction did a good job of catching the reader’s attention by asking so many questions. I like how you are warning the audience that it is not what they think. You make it seem very suspenseful, which is perfect in writing a story. The first story was very entertaining. You are thinking you are reading a fairy tale, but then there is a twist. I like how you elaborated on what happened after the story ended. This took a lot of creativity and imagination. The story was amusing and I cannot wait to read what happens in the next story. You did a great job on making the story your own interpretation. Overall, the storybook is wonderful. There are many aspects of where you catch the reader’s attention.
Oh my goodness!! Your story is absolutely amazing!! I read "After Sleeping Beauty Awoke" and I'm so excited to read the finished storybook. Your story was so good!! Your introduction was really good! I like how you grabbed the audience's attention with the questions at the beginning. You definitely kept me intrigued the entire time especially by saying that it's not what you think. First of all, I love the fact that you used Sleeping Beauty. That is one of my favorite movies from Disney! I also really like how you continued the story further after she woke up. Your storybook is absolutely wonderful and I am so excited to read more of your stories. Great job with your storybook!
Hey, Shelby! From the cool picture on your cover page to your pictures for your story and introduction, I was very impressed. The story was pretty sad, but you did what you wanted to – show that happily ever after isn’t the whole story. There are always those arguments that Disney stories are giving girls false expectations of realities and they should read this (haha). Anyways, the text was easy to read, but I would encourage you to make the font of the title and the dark background more visually appealing. I would suggest that it can still be dark colors since that matches the story but perhaps something that is more aesthetically pleasing. On another note, your author’s note was informative and I appreciate how you summarized the original story to clear up any uncertainties concerning the original story and in the event someone has not heard the story, they could be easily filled in. Anyways, your storybook topic is very creative and I’m excited to see how the rest of your stories turn out. Great job!
Hi! I was assigned to read your storybook again! Since I already read "After Sleeping Beauty Awoke" and you haven't added anything new yet, I guess I'll comment on your introduction! I like you caught the audience's attention with the questions at the beginning. You really kept me interested by telling the audience to turn back and saying it's not what you think. You really made it suspenseful and made the audience want to keep reading. I also love how you give hints to the upcoming stories. It really makes me want to keep reading. Well done! I'm really excited to see what your next story will be about! You're a very good writer. Your topic is very creative and I can't wait to see how your other stories will be.
I love the direction you are going with your storybook. It is a great idea to put a twist on the stories that we all know so well.
I think you started off with a great introduction and a great first story. My suggestion for the introduction would be to maybe add something to it that causes all of the princesses to come together to share their stories, or have the narrator of all of the stories be a person that is collecting the stories for some reason or another.
Then for the first story, my only suggestion would be to include something about the evil fairy saying that this was her revenge. While we, the readers, know about the evil fairy, I do not believe that Briar-Rose knows a lot about the evil fairy, if my memory serves me correctly. While the story is fine on its own, it may get that little something extra, if there is something added about the evil fairy specifically.
I wasn't assigned to your storybook but it looked interesting so I decided to give it a look. I really like the picture on your home page. I feel like it set the tone really well for your story. Your introduction definitely made me exciting to read. It was like a huge warning sign to not continue and so I liked that aspect of it. I also love the fact that you took the fairy tales away from the typical "Happy ever after" that we all know so well. Aside from your introduction, I also read your first story and I have to say that I loved it. I have always thought that the evil people in the fairy tales would not give up as easily as they always have them so I think that was a good twist to the originals. I also think that it was creative to use their home as the place that they would be in the most danger. Most people see their homes as their safe place and so this makes it even more tragic that the home was where she was the least safe. The only critique that I have would be the font color. The white words on the gray background was really hard to read. Other than that, I really love your story and I look forward to reading the rest of them.
I would like to start off by saying that I was drawn into your story from the beginning because I like your title. After I read it, I already got a sense of what the story was going to be about. Great job on making that clear. I feel like I have read a lot of stories that always end happily ever after. Most Disney movies and fairy tales that I watched and read in my childhood always did. I remember in the 8th grade, my English teacher shared with us that most fairytales like Sleeping Beauty and Snow White have originally tragic endings. For example, in the original tale, the dwarves sell Snow White into slavery. It kind of ruined the stories for me, but I think it's kind of ironic at the same time.
I thought your first story was well written and organized well. I look forward to reading more from you in the upcoming weeks!
Hahaha, I love the introduction. I was reading the first few sentences and got a little confused, especially with the dark, gloomy pictures and color scheme, but then I kept reading. Love it! Also, definitely good job on the color scheme. It set the perfect tone for this storybook. I think this is a really good idea for a storybook as well. Oftentimes the happy endings are the stories we hear the most, so I really like the fact that you're paying attention to the darker stories. I read After Sleeping Beauty Woke. Good job! I loved this story. I love how you wrote your own version of what happened instead of a "Happily Ever After." The story really is tragic. You weren't kidding when you warned me. I like that you went all the way with making an unhappy story. I also really like the fact that Sleeping Beauty wasn't killed. It's almost more of a tragedy to live in constant fear.
Hey, Shelby! I have already read and commented on your introduction and first story so for this comment, I’m going to focus on your second story. I thought it was really neat that you told the story from the point of view of a prince because as you said in your author’s note, rarely is it that the guy is focused on and his love (the princess) dies. The story was sad, of course, but also very touching. The way you described the love and anguish the beast had to undergo was heart-wrenching so kudos to you for being able to write his emotions so clearly and strongly. As for improvements, I struggle to think of any. One that comes to mind (and it’s really more of a preference) is that in the beginning, when the beast says “until a virgin agreed to marry me” – I would change that to more of a description of Belle’s beauty and intelligence rather than virgin since that doesn’t really describe how amazing she is. Anyways, great job!
Hi Shelby! I just read "A Prince's Tale of Woe" and oh my gosh!! It is so good!! Your story is so well written!! I absolutely love that story!! I like how you had this story in the prince's point of view. Usually most princess stories are in the princess' point of view. This story was so sad though!! Beauty and the Beast is one of my favorite Disney movies and I love that she goes back to Beast and they live happily ever after. You story is great, but just really sad! The way you described the prince's love for Belle was amazing. You could tell that he loved her with all his heart. I didn't see any grammar errors, so that's good. I'm just wondering, what was wrong with Belle that made her terribly ill?
I never say it or even really hint it in the story, but when I was writing I had in mind that Belle had cancer, possibly a tumor somewhere in her body that was interfering with normal functioning and causing her to appear sick. I've always wondered how many unexplained deaths were actually caused by cancer in the years before it was discovered and I this was my inspiration for Belle's illness that the doctor couldn't find a cause for.
You have a very cool and unique storybook. When I first thought about doing a storybook I wanted to do a spooky theme just like yours. It was very cool to see what you had done. It just got me excited to read your stories. Reading your intro just added to my interest. You did a great job at luring me in through your great writing style. I also got a chance to read your story “The Sleeping Beauty”. I thought that this was a great way to start out your storybook. I like that you decided to show us what happens after the story ends. That leaves a lot of room for creativity and you did a great job capturing it. I thought you did an excellent job retelling this story, and I really look forward to reading more of your storybook once you get more of it complete.
I loved your introduction! The tone of it is very interesting and pulls the reader in. Something else that stood out to me just because I thought it was cool it that you seemed to frequently speak in 3s, with examples like "Maybe you’re intrigued by the unknown. Maybe you just really want to know the rest of the story (even if it doesn’t have an ideal ending). Maybe you’re harboring the hope that your heroes will manage to escape whatever danger they are facing again, despite my clear indications to the contrary." I just thought that was cool because it's something I've always done too because it just feels right structurally, but I haven't noticed that many other people that do it! I think your first story is very well put together; the one thing I would go back and check is the connotation/denotation of some of the words you used. For example, you used "he began to cough vigorously", but I think vigorously is actually more of "full of life", so it might not make perfect sense in this context. Plot-wise it's very well put together. WOW though, dying before the birth of his daughter, this IS a sad story haha. I enjoyed your second story as well, though I might be interested in some sort of explanation for why Beauty dies. Like you said in the Author's Note, it happens so infrequently in stories that I sort of wanted a justification for it. All in all, very good storybook!
Since people seem interested in what was wrong with Beauty, I've added that detail to my author's note. I don't really give any hints in the story but I always had in mind when I was writing it that she had cancer, maybe a tumor that was disrupting the normal function of her body. I've always wondered how many unexplained deaths were caused by cancer before it was discovered and that's why the doctor can't determine the cause of Beauty's illness.
Hi Shelby, I read the story about Brier-Rose (Sleeping Beauty) and you did a very good job with it! You did a good job of telling the tragic story of what happened after her happily ever after. It was really creative of you to think of story where the evil fairy just did not take her defeat. The story was pretty sad considering they all could have lived if they just left the castle, but I did like that that Brier-Rose and her baby lived and were able to leave the castle. I also like the ending question of does this seem like a happily ever after. Very sad, but very well written and creative.
I also read the story about the Prince or Beast and I like how descriptive you are in this story. I am a reader who loves when I can visualize a character by reading instead of looking at a picture. I also feel the somber emotions of each character. I never expected for Beauty to not wake up after their happily ever after.
Hi Shelby, I read the story about Brier-Rose (Sleeping Beauty) and you did a very good job with it! You did a good job of telling the tragic story of what happened after her happily ever after. It was really creative of you to think of story where the evil fairy just did not take her defeat. The story was pretty sad considering they all could have lived if they just left the castle, but I did like that that Brier-Rose and her baby lived and were able to leave the castle. I also like the ending question of does this seem like a happily ever after. Very sad, but very well written and creative.
I also read the story about the Prince or Beast and I like how descriptive you are in this story. I am a reader who loves when I can visualize a character by reading instead of looking at a picture. I also feel the somber emotions of each character. I never expected for Beauty to not wake up after their happily ever after.
Hey Shelby, I love your blog decor. It is warm and inviting. It gives me the feeling of reading books in my own home. Also, I like that your blog has easy navigation. Tragically Ever After is a winner like chicken dinner! I do like the idea of being a princess and getting everything that I want. I like the idea of getting a little drama and action even more. I am not very familiar with fairytales like other peers. I do know the story of Cinderella very well and I just do not like the ending. It is a pleasant ending but it is not reality. Great storybook!
Hey, I am back to leave you another comment. I decided to keep reading your stories since I thoroughly enjoyed the first one. I do like that you told the story from the Prince's perspective. Unfortunately, in many love stories and/or fairytales we, the audience, rarely hear the story of the Prince. I think most stories can be considered a little bias because of this. Also, their perspective reminds me that females can be somewhat dramatic. Your writing style also keeps the reader wanting more. From the comments left from other peers, you are a great writer. Everyone has loved your introduction and stories. In addition, my mother was being nosey and read the introduction and stories with me. She liked it too. She graduated from the College of Gaylord and is very picky about writing. So, kudos to you for getting her to like your story too. Keep up the good work!
I chose this storybook as one of my free choices this week. I was intrigued at first by the title. After reading your introduction I became very interested. I thought you did a great job in your introduction conveying what your storybook was about and you did it in an entertaining manner. Warning the reader that these stories would not end as they remember made me want to continue reading and see the ends to their fateful stories. Also, the darkness of your site really added to and complemented your title, "Tragically Ever After". I read your story "After Sleeping Beauty Woke". I agree that it is hard to believe that the fairy would have just given up. I liked how you incorporated that the mother and the prince died from pricks or cuts to their fingers like Sleeping Beauty was initially supposed to.I am very curious to see how the rest of these fairy tales I'm accustomed to really end!
Shelby, I absolutely love, love, love your storybook! The concept is super interesting and from the moment I read the title I was drawn in. Your introduction was perfect. It had a great amount of suspense that kept the readers interested and made them want to read more. The air of mystery you gave about the princesses’ lives was great. Your concept reminds me of this video I saw on YouTube. This guy sang a Disney song medley about the lives of Disney Princesses after their story “ended.” I think the video is called After Ever After. I liked your first story, “After Sleeping Beauty Woke.” The thought that the thirteenth fairy just accepted defeat is a hard one to grasp. When we were younger that seemed plausible but now, not so much. I had no idea that the evil thirteenth fairy was left out simple because there weren’t enough plates. This story was a great way to start off your storybook and I am excited to come back to your storybook and read the rest of your stories.
Wow what great images you have on your blog! I really love the image you chose for your introduction and thought that it was extremely fitting for the overall theme of your portfolio. All of your images throughout your blog were really big and I liked that a lot! I also think you did a really great job breaking your stories up whether it be dividing them with images or sort of page breaks. It helped the stories not feel so overwhelming when you see one big block of text so good job on that! One thing I noticed was that the image on your last story, The Tragedy at the Ball is appearing on my webpage. Maybe it’s just a problem I’m having but I can see all your other images so it might be worth looking into. Overall, your portfolio is nicely done and I think your stories are very unique!
Hey, I am back to read your last story. I really enjoyed reading your storybook last week. You develop the story really well. I like the imagery and detail that you provide. Poor Cinderella is the rebound. That sucks! Sidenote: people are still arranging marriages in 2015. It has worked for some but not in this case. I think the prince should have been nicer to Cinderella because it was not her fault. That is so mean. She married into turmoil. She did even have her husband by her side on her death bed. This story really made me emotional. My heart goes out to the both of them. I wonder why the two just did not get a divorce. I would like to know how their child felt about everything. Kids notice a lot and understand more than adults think. Did he resent his mother too or hate his dad for treating her bad?
Hey Shelby! This was my first time visiting your storybook, but I was excited to see what you'd do with it. I was intrigued by your title because i've read all of the original Grimm's fairy tales and that is exactly how i'd describe them. They aren't the happy, sugar-coated stories we've come to know so well. I read your introduction and liked the fact that you started it off with engaging questions. It made for a good hook and enticed me to read more. I really like your writing style and felt like your introduction was excellent. I also read your sleeping beauty story and LOVED that you wrote it in first person. I really enjoyed the dark nature of your story and the way you told it. It's awful that she lost her mom, dad, and husband all so suddenly and due to something she had not control over. I mean, come on, she was a baby! She didn't choose not to invite the fairy. I'm glad her baby survived though, that would just be too tragic.
I just read your story entitled "Prince Not-so-Charming," and enjoyed it immensely. The balance of dialogue was excellent, the flow of the narrative was spot-on, and the descriptions of the characters' emotions was perfect. I especially enjoyed the idea that you used for the tragic ending - the cliche sense of happiness found in fairy tales always makes me gag, so thanks for "jolting" your reader by doing something different. It's a good way to think outside of the box and is certainly a novel and interesting way of retelling these stories.
I only have one minor critique, and it's not even essential that you change it. I simply noticed that in the prince's explanation of why he married Cinderella, the prince uses the phrase "insults were thrown about." To me, this sounds like it's in passive voice. My sense of the story's flow was uninterrupted until I got to this phrase, simply because it sounded slightly awkward and took me a moment to process.
Overall, both the story and the theme of the narrative are spot-on. Thanks for writing this story and coming up with something very fresh and intriguing. Nicely done.
I decided to come back and read more of your storybook as my extra project post. I am glad that I did. I read the second story, A Prince's Tale of Woe. It was a little hard for me to read because Beauty and the Beast is one of my all time favorites but I did enjoy your version of it. I thought it was really creative of you to have Beauty have a mysterious illness that she refused to acknowledge. It showed the soft side of Beast by describing how concerned he had been for the woman that he loved. You did a really good job of showing just how hurt he was by seeing her like that. It was really sad but I thought that you did a great job. The story flowed really well and I will definitely have to come back and read some more of your storybook. I loved the happy ending but I find it so interesting to see how it could have turned out otherwise. Great job.
This Storybook is perfect. A friend of mine took an internship at Disney this past year, so I see all of her pictures and am reminded of all of the fairy tales I was told as a child. I was, of course, a little disappointed when I read your stories... But it's great that you left a little joy in the princess's life. I read the Introduction and After Sleeping Beauty Woke. You let Sleeping Beauty have a baby girl despite loosing her other close ones. That's sort of a happy ending. I'm a sucker for them, so I look for them everywhere. It was also good that you refreshed the reader on the events leading up to the princess falling asleep. I had forgotten why. Your story wouldn't have made as much sense to me if you hadn't included a little history. So thank you! You've done a very good job building your Storybook! Keep it up!
Shelby, I really like the general theme of your storybook! Sometimes I get a little fed up with perfect fairytale endings, so this is a very entertaining premise for a storybook. I read the Cinderella sequel story at the end, and really enjoyed it... although I would say that I would hate if this were actually a true sequel! The whole Cinderella's Castle thing at Disney would be a bit of a downer if that were the case. Something that I really admire about your writing is how excellently you employ dialogue. I personally struggle with integrating dialogue into my stories, but it flows so perfectly in yours. My only critique would be the way it ended was a little abrupt. Granted, I am sure for the sake of space it had to be generalized, but I think it would have been nice to hear a little bit more about Charles or the end of her days. I also think part of me longs for some redemption, but the whole "Tragically Ever After" thing wouldn't really fit then. Great job, great storybook!
Shelby, I decided to critique your storybook because the title enticed me, after seeing it I really wanted to know what it was all about. I was not a big fan of your site theme and layout. The colors were fitting but everything else seemed stiff and boring. It might be beneficial to go back and take another look at the Google site themes either for ideas or use. Your title, like I stated earlier, really is excellent and even the pictures you use are fitting. I really think with some more work with the site theme, layout and fonts your could really round out your storybook. I went ahead and read your third tale for critique (Prince Not-So-Charming). Is this going to be your final tale or are you going to add one more? It was really well written and flowed nicely. I did not catch any errors but one more out loud read through can never hurt. Great job!
Hi Shelby! Wow, did I ever enjoy your storybook!!! I love the fact that you took the classic "happily ever after" stories and turned them around to have dark endings. That was wildly creative and imaginative. This type of storybook is something that almost all of the other ones didn't do and I like that you went on an original path with your ideas. I really enjoyed that you picked the most well known stories too. Everyone should be quite familiar with how the stories are supposed to go. Lol Each story had its' own unique unhappy ending too, which I thought was great. The pictures you chose were spot on for each story and I loved how your Introduction page told us what to expect and to turn back if the reader didn't want to read about unhappy endings. I didn't find any grammatical errors or any spelling errors which is awesome. Your writing style is easy to read and very detailed. Overall, I thought you did a great job on your storybook and I also enjoyed reading some of your other posts as well. You most definitely have a passion for writing and I think you should continue to write, if that is what you want to do. I wish you the best with the rest of this semester, the rest of your classes and in pursuing your dreams! Take care!
Hey Shelby! I absolutely love your storybook! I'm a sucker for fairytales and this is a while new twist to it. I actually like all the miserable things happen in the fairytales... it kind of reminded me of that one TV show called Once Upon A Time. I saw you put that picture on your page and was like "Ah hah!" This really reminded me of that show. I think my favorite is the one with the "prince not so charming" it was pretty cool that you made him marry Cinderella just to keep his position in the throne. That is so clever. I actually read through all your stories. I think yours is the best by far, in my opinion. Although there wasn't much to your layout. I thought your stories were so interesting. I do like the picture of the dark forest you put on the front page. Overall, very good job! I really liked all the stories. Hopefully there will be more soon even I know that this class is coming to an end.
I really loved reading your storybook. I think you did a great job with taking the idea of happily ever after and tossing it out the window. It worked really well with you using stories that are these iconic tales with the happily ever after endings. You did a great job continuing them and making them feel connected to the original. I particularly liked your continuation of the Cinderella story. Prince Not-So-Charming indeed with the way he was acting. The way you handled his character in transitioning him to being bitter and angry was great with everything having been an act for his father to gain the throne. I also really loved your telling of beauty and the beast. I thought this was great because it's a very real scenario with an illness. There's no reason behind it and sometimes these things just happen. Overall I think you did a really fantastic job!
Shelby! I just read the "After Sleeping Beauty Woke" story and I am so glad I did. I think I said this last time I commented, but it is a little refreshing to have stories that don't give you this picture perfect life. I have never thought about how the rest of sleeping beauty's life went because I read the "Heppily ever after" and just assume. But the way your storybook is written, it makes me think about the after. I think you are on to something here, because I am with you that the fairy wouldn't let this happen. Her original plan was foiled to ruin the beauty's life, so of course she has to go in for round 2. I thought it hard to believe that a paper cut would killl him, but I guess that is the strength of the curse. This is very well-written and I can see why it was one of the favorites!
I really enjoyed your introduction! I thought it drew me in really well, and set the tone for the rest of the storybook. It’s a good reminder that life doesn’t stop after the seemingly “fairy tale ending” of a story. It’s very funny and frank, which I found to be a refreshing change from the happy-go-lucky tone of the fairy tales we are used to, but that’s probably because I’m a fairly cynical person anyways. Your story of Sleeping Beauty was really tragic in such a great way. I thought that the revenge that the 13th fairy gets on her is very fitting considering how much trouble she tried to cause in the first place. Having Beauty killed by cancer was a really great way to bring tragedy to such a strong love story, and it’s a tragedy that a lot of people can understand and relate to. I’ve also wondered how many unexplained deaths in the past were due to cancer, but I guess it’s kind of impossible to know for sure!
Hi Shelby! What a great start to your storybook! I absolutely love the way that your write. You have sort of a dark and twisty way of writing that I love. I like that you try to turn away the readers who believe in happily ever after, but I have always wondered what happened to those who "supposedly" had a happily ever after or if the villains really were gone. You also did a good job in making me want more. You enticed me to want to read more by giving my a little information here there.
ReplyDeleteI am really excited about the story about the princess whose prince charming did not turn out to be who she thought he was. I also like the once upon a time (tv show) feel it has. I really like the picture that you chose to set the mood with in the introduction as well. Well done! I am looking forward to reading this storybook! Good luck!
I have to say that I really liked your intro! It really set the tone for how the story is going to play out. You did a good job of giving the reader enough information about what’s to come without saturating the intro with specifics, which happens with remarkable repetition. Though I will point out the weaknesses where I see them so that your intro can really make a poignant impression.
ReplyDeleteWhen you write the first sentence in the form of a question, you need to be very careful not to make it rhetorical. It’s a fairly weak start, because a LOT of stories that try to sound interesting begin with rhetorical questions. And that’s really bad, because you want your first sentence to catch your reader’s attention, and not remind them about the way that a lot of other stories start out. Try making your first sentence like: “If you were to ask the princesses and their husbands about their Happy Ever Afters, how many do you think would tell you they were actually… ‘happy’? What if I told you that NONE of them would?”
Ooh! I loved your introduction. I love that you are going to be telling the stories of what happens after the "Happily ever after"! Such a fantastic way to explore beloved characters in a new way. I can't wait to read your stories.
ReplyDeleteI loved that you made the introduction into a questionnaire of sorts. The rhetorical questions were really good, and helped me to feel engaged in your intro. By the end of it, I was seriously going "yes yes yes!"
I love the three characters that you chose and cannot wait to see what they have in store for them! Snow White was my favorite movie as a kid, so I'm especially excited to see what happens with her story. Awesome idea, Awesome introduction. I cannot wait to read more. Great job!
Hey Shelby!
ReplyDeleteGreat introduction! I liked how you kind of played with the reader and made them believe this was a fun series of fairy tale stories that had the perfect, happily ever after ending but if you keep reading, you find out it isn’t at all! I also like in the intro how you incorporated stories like Snow White and Cinderella because those really are stories that everyone knows so I think it will be really fun to read the new twist you add to the story so that the characters don’t always have that happy ending and perhaps have a more realistic and modern day spin on it. I would have liked to see a more vivid image on your intro page. Maybe one that incorporates some of the traditional fairy tale stories you mentioned. Anyways, great job on this intro and I’m looking forward to reading more from you!
Shelby, I love the cover page of your project! It’s very daunting and sets the tone instantly for your project. Your introduction is also fabulously written! You clearly have the haunting and daunting tone down for your writing that really hooks the reader into wanting to know what is so horrible. Your word choice is very rich which helps to further your sentences throughout your post. I also like the layout of your page, I think staying away from anything too flashy is a good editorial choice. The two elements of gray may get somewhat repetitive and bland, however. So maybe introduce a darker color shade into the mix just to keep a color component that evens out. Your introduction also reminded me of a youtube video called After Ever After – Disney Parody. It’s a one man solo singing project about all the Disney princesses having a horrible time after the happily ever after is done. Good start and good luck!
ReplyDelete“Life Doesn’t End at Happily Ever After”- I really like your home page!!! I like the darkness and mystery it brings. It sets the tone nicely for you storybook.
ReplyDeleteIntroduction: O my goodness! This is AWESOME!! I want to read more. I want to read more. I want to know what unhappy endings our favorite Disney princess’ went through. This is a brilliant topic by the way. I know some of the original fairy tales are pretty dark, but I love that you’re taking that a step further and creating a version of what life would have been like for them after their happily ever after became reality. This premise reminds me of “Into the Woods.” Have you seen it yet? If not I really think you would enjoy it. It has a lot to do with bring the fairy tales into the real world.
Overall, you are off to a fabulous start!!! I really can’t wait to read more!
Shelby,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your introduction to Tragically Ever After. It left me wanting to read more. You were right to say that no one ever really thinks about what happened afterwards. The stories always end with “Happily Ever After.” There must be more.
The picture of the woods fits the theme of your storybook. It really sets the mood of your project. It suggests tragedy, sadness, and loss. It shows a darker side to fairy tales. That life would not be life without some struggle or tragedy.
Your choice of color tones also adds to the theme of the storybook. You used the colors gray, black, and white instead of the typical fairytale colors like pink, lime green, and yellow. This allows viewers to understand that these stories are not like the other popular fairy tales. They are actually pretty much the opposite.
The only suggestion I have for you is maybe you could include pictures of the characters. Perhaps you could depict them sad or in darker tones to go with the theme. Good job Shelby!
Hello Shelby! I really loved your introduction to your storybook and I am really looking forward to seeing the stories you post. The gray color tones of your website really help create the tone of not everything is happily ever after. I also loved the image on your home page. The gloomy forest really creates this air of mystery and uncertainty that goes along with your comment of "Enter If You Dare".
ReplyDeleteI really love your concept of going beyond the happy endings we have traditionally seen with fairy tales. I personally am not a fan of the and they lived happily ever after with a life wrapped up neatly in a bow. I think it's great that you're taking the stories beyond that and telling of the struggles they faced after the supposedly happily ever after.
I really love the writing of your introduction. I think the fact that you took the don't way I didn't warn you, and you should turn back now approach is a really great set up for your stories. It reminded me a lot of The Series of Unfortunate Events which I haven't read in years. I'm really looking forward to seeing the stories you create.
The first page of your storybook is very hooking. Of course, I wanted to read more to see what the storybook was going to be about. The first paragraph of your introduction did a good job of catching the reader’s attention by asking so many questions. I like how you are warning the audience that it is not what they think. You make it seem very suspenseful, which is perfect in writing a story. The first story was very entertaining. You are thinking you are reading a fairy tale, but then there is a twist. I like how you elaborated on what happened after the story ended. This took a lot of creativity and imagination. The story was amusing and I cannot wait to read what happens in the next story. You did a great job on making the story your own interpretation. Overall, the storybook is wonderful. There are many aspects of where you catch the reader’s attention.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness!! Your story is absolutely amazing!! I read "After Sleeping Beauty Awoke" and I'm so excited to read the finished storybook. Your story was so good!! Your introduction was really good! I like how you grabbed the audience's attention with the questions at the beginning. You definitely kept me intrigued the entire time especially by saying that it's not what you think. First of all, I love the fact that you used Sleeping Beauty. That is one of my favorite movies from Disney! I also really like how you continued the story further after she woke up. Your storybook is absolutely wonderful and I am so excited to read more of your stories. Great job with your storybook!
ReplyDeleteHey, Shelby! From the cool picture on your cover page to your pictures for your story and introduction, I was very impressed. The story was pretty sad, but you did what you wanted to – show that happily ever after isn’t the whole story. There are always those arguments that Disney stories are giving girls false expectations of realities and they should read this (haha). Anyways, the text was easy to read, but I would encourage you to make the font of the title and the dark background more visually appealing. I would suggest that it can still be dark colors since that matches the story but perhaps something that is more aesthetically pleasing. On another note, your author’s note was informative and I appreciate how you summarized the original story to clear up any uncertainties concerning the original story and in the event someone has not heard the story, they could be easily filled in. Anyways, your storybook topic is very creative and I’m excited to see how the rest of your stories turn out. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi! I was assigned to read your storybook again! Since I already read "After Sleeping Beauty Awoke" and you haven't added anything new yet, I guess I'll comment on your introduction! I like you caught the audience's attention with the questions at the beginning. You really kept me interested by telling the audience to turn back and saying it's not what you think. You really made it suspenseful and made the audience want to keep reading. I also love how you give hints to the upcoming stories. It really makes me want to keep reading. Well done! I'm really excited to see what your next story will be about! You're a very good writer. Your topic is very creative and I can't wait to see how your other stories will be.
ReplyDeleteShelby,
ReplyDeleteI love the direction you are going with your storybook. It is a great idea to put a twist on the stories that we all know so well.
I think you started off with a great introduction and a great first story. My suggestion for the introduction would be to maybe add something to it that causes all of the princesses to come together to share their stories, or have the narrator of all of the stories be a person that is collecting the stories for some reason or another.
Then for the first story, my only suggestion would be to include something about the evil fairy saying that this was her revenge. While we, the readers, know about the evil fairy, I do not believe that Briar-Rose knows a lot about the evil fairy, if my memory serves me correctly. While the story is fine on its own, it may get that little something extra, if there is something added about the evil fairy specifically.
I wasn't assigned to your storybook but it looked interesting so I decided to give it a look. I really like the picture on your home page. I feel like it set the tone really well for your story. Your introduction definitely made me exciting to read. It was like a huge warning sign to not continue and so I liked that aspect of it. I also love the fact that you took the fairy tales away from the typical "Happy ever after" that we all know so well. Aside from your introduction, I also read your first story and I have to say that I loved it. I have always thought that the evil people in the fairy tales would not give up as easily as they always have them so I think that was a good twist to the originals. I also think that it was creative to use their home as the place that they would be in the most danger. Most people see their homes as their safe place and so this makes it even more tragic that the home was where she was the least safe. The only critique that I have would be the font color. The white words on the gray background was really hard to read. Other than that, I really love your story and I look forward to reading the rest of them.
ReplyDeleteHey Shelby!
ReplyDeleteI would like to start off by saying that I was drawn into your story from the beginning because I like your title. After I read it, I already got a sense of what the story was going to be about. Great job on making that clear. I feel like I have read a lot of stories that always end happily ever after. Most Disney movies and fairy tales that I watched and read in my childhood always did. I remember in the 8th grade, my English teacher shared with us that most fairytales like Sleeping Beauty and Snow White have originally tragic endings. For example, in the original tale, the dwarves sell Snow White into slavery. It kind of ruined the stories for me, but I think it's kind of ironic at the same time.
I thought your first story was well written and organized well. I look forward to reading more from you in the upcoming weeks!
Hahaha, I love the introduction. I was reading the first few sentences and got a little confused, especially with the dark, gloomy pictures and color scheme, but then I kept reading. Love it! Also, definitely good job on the color scheme. It set the perfect tone for this storybook. I think this is a really good idea for a storybook as well. Oftentimes the happy endings are the stories we hear the most, so I really like the fact that you're paying attention to the darker stories.
ReplyDeleteI read After Sleeping Beauty Woke. Good job! I loved this story. I love how you wrote your own version of what happened instead of a "Happily Ever After."
The story really is tragic. You weren't kidding when you warned me. I like that you went all the way with making an unhappy story. I also really like the fact that Sleeping Beauty wasn't killed. It's almost more of a tragedy to live in constant fear.
Hey, Shelby! I have already read and commented on your introduction and first story so for this comment, I’m going to focus on your second story. I thought it was really neat that you told the story from the point of view of a prince because as you said in your author’s note, rarely is it that the guy is focused on and his love (the princess) dies. The story was sad, of course, but also very touching. The way you described the love and anguish the beast had to undergo was heart-wrenching so kudos to you for being able to write his emotions so clearly and strongly. As for improvements, I struggle to think of any. One that comes to mind (and it’s really more of a preference) is that in the beginning, when the beast says “until a virgin agreed to marry me” – I would change that to more of a description of Belle’s beauty and intelligence rather than virgin since that doesn’t really describe how amazing she is. Anyways, great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Shelby! I just read "A Prince's Tale of Woe" and oh my gosh!! It is so good!! Your story is so well written!! I absolutely love that story!! I like how you had this story in the prince's point of view. Usually most princess stories are in the princess' point of view. This story was so sad though!! Beauty and the Beast is one of my favorite Disney movies and I love that she goes back to Beast and they live happily ever after. You story is great, but just really sad! The way you described the prince's love for Belle was amazing. You could tell that he loved her with all his heart. I didn't see any grammar errors, so that's good. I'm just wondering, what was wrong with Belle that made her terribly ill?
ReplyDeleteI never say it or even really hint it in the story, but when I was writing I had in mind that Belle had cancer, possibly a tumor somewhere in her body that was interfering with normal functioning and causing her to appear sick. I've always wondered how many unexplained deaths were actually caused by cancer in the years before it was discovered and I this was my inspiration for Belle's illness that the doctor couldn't find a cause for.
DeleteYou have a very cool and unique storybook. When I first thought about doing a storybook I wanted to do a spooky theme just like yours. It was very cool to see what you had done. It just got me excited to read your stories. Reading your intro just added to my interest. You did a great job at luring me in through your great writing style. I also got a chance to read your story “The Sleeping Beauty”. I thought that this was a great way to start out your storybook. I like that you decided to show us what happens after the story ends. That leaves a lot of room for creativity and you did a great job capturing it. I thought you did an excellent job retelling this story, and I really look forward to reading more of your storybook once you get more of it complete.
ReplyDeleteI loved your introduction! The tone of it is very interesting and pulls the reader in. Something else that stood out to me just because I thought it was cool it that you seemed to frequently speak in 3s, with examples like "Maybe you’re intrigued by the unknown. Maybe you just really want to know the rest of the story (even if it doesn’t have an ideal ending). Maybe you’re harboring the hope that your heroes will manage to escape whatever danger they are facing again, despite my clear indications to the contrary." I just thought that was cool because it's something I've always done too because it just feels right structurally, but I haven't noticed that many other people that do it! I think your first story is very well put together; the one thing I would go back and check is the connotation/denotation of some of the words you used. For example, you used "he began to cough vigorously", but I think vigorously is actually more of "full of life", so it might not make perfect sense in this context. Plot-wise it's very well put together. WOW though, dying before the birth of his daughter, this IS a sad story haha. I enjoyed your second story as well, though I might be interested in some sort of explanation for why Beauty dies. Like you said in the Author's Note, it happens so infrequently in stories that I sort of wanted a justification for it. All in all, very good storybook!
ReplyDeleteSince people seem interested in what was wrong with Beauty, I've added that detail to my author's note. I don't really give any hints in the story but I always had in mind when I was writing it that she had cancer, maybe a tumor that was disrupting the normal function of her body. I've always wondered how many unexplained deaths were caused by cancer before it was discovered and that's why the doctor can't determine the cause of Beauty's illness.
DeleteHi Shelby, I read the story about Brier-Rose (Sleeping Beauty) and you did a very good job with it! You did a good job of telling the tragic story of what happened after her happily ever after. It was really creative of you to think of story where the evil fairy just did not take her defeat. The story was pretty sad considering they all could have lived if they just left the castle, but I did like that that Brier-Rose and her baby lived and were able to leave the castle. I also like the ending question of does this seem like a happily ever after. Very sad, but very well written and creative.
ReplyDeleteI also read the story about the Prince or Beast and I like how descriptive you are in this story. I am a reader who loves when I can visualize a character by reading instead of looking at a picture. I also feel the somber emotions of each character. I never expected for Beauty to not wake up after their happily ever after.
Good job, Shelby.
Hi Shelby, I read the story about Brier-Rose (Sleeping Beauty) and you did a very good job with it! You did a good job of telling the tragic story of what happened after her happily ever after. It was really creative of you to think of story where the evil fairy just did not take her defeat. The story was pretty sad considering they all could have lived if they just left the castle, but I did like that that Brier-Rose and her baby lived and were able to leave the castle. I also like the ending question of does this seem like a happily ever after. Very sad, but very well written and creative.
ReplyDeleteI also read the story about the Prince or Beast and I like how descriptive you are in this story. I am a reader who loves when I can visualize a character by reading instead of looking at a picture. I also feel the somber emotions of each character. I never expected for Beauty to not wake up after their happily ever after.
Good job, Shelby.
Hey Shelby, I love your blog decor. It is warm and inviting. It gives me the feeling of reading books in my own home. Also, I like that your blog has easy navigation. Tragically Ever After is a winner like chicken dinner! I do like the idea of being a princess and getting everything that I want. I like the idea of getting a little drama and action even more. I am not very familiar with fairytales like other peers. I do know the story of Cinderella very well and I just do not like the ending. It is a pleasant ending but it is not reality. Great storybook!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey, I am back to leave you another comment. I decided to keep reading your stories since I thoroughly enjoyed the first one. I do like that you told the story from the Prince's perspective. Unfortunately, in many love stories and/or fairytales we, the audience, rarely hear the story of the Prince. I think most stories can be considered a little bias because of this. Also, their perspective reminds me that females can be somewhat dramatic. Your writing style also keeps the reader wanting more. From the comments left from other peers, you are a great writer. Everyone has loved your introduction and stories. In addition, my mother was being nosey and read the introduction and stories with me. She liked it too. She graduated from the College of Gaylord and is very picky about writing. So, kudos to you for getting her to like your story too. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI chose this storybook as one of my free choices this week. I was intrigued at first by the title. After reading your introduction I became very interested. I thought you did a great job in your introduction conveying what your storybook was about and you did it in an entertaining manner. Warning the reader that these stories would not end as they remember made me want to continue reading and see the ends to their fateful stories. Also, the darkness of your site really added to and complemented your title, "Tragically Ever After".
ReplyDeleteI read your story "After Sleeping Beauty Woke". I agree that it is hard to believe that the fairy would have just given up. I liked how you incorporated that the mother and the prince died from pricks or cuts to their fingers like Sleeping Beauty was initially supposed to.I am very curious to see how the rest of these fairy tales I'm accustomed to really end!
Shelby,
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love, love, love your storybook! The concept is super interesting and from the moment I read the title I was drawn in. Your introduction was perfect. It had a great amount of suspense that kept the readers interested and made them want to read more. The air of mystery you gave about the princesses’ lives was great. Your concept reminds me of this video I saw on YouTube. This guy sang a Disney song medley about the lives of Disney Princesses after their story “ended.” I think the video is called After Ever After. I liked your first story, “After Sleeping Beauty Woke.” The thought that the thirteenth fairy just accepted defeat is a hard one to grasp. When we were younger that seemed plausible but now, not so much. I had no idea that the evil thirteenth fairy was left out simple because there weren’t enough plates. This story was a great way to start off your storybook and I am excited to come back to your storybook and read the rest of your stories.
Wow what great images you have on your blog! I really love the image you chose for your introduction and thought that it was extremely fitting for the overall theme of your portfolio. All of your images throughout your blog were really big and I liked that a lot! I also think you did a really great job breaking your stories up whether it be dividing them with images or sort of page breaks. It helped the stories not feel so overwhelming when you see one big block of text so good job on that! One thing I noticed was that the image on your last story, The Tragedy at the Ball is appearing on my webpage. Maybe it’s just a problem I’m having but I can see all your other images so it might be worth looking into. Overall, your portfolio is nicely done and I think your stories are very unique!
ReplyDeleteHey, I am back to read your last story. I really enjoyed reading your storybook last week. You develop the story really well. I like the imagery and detail that you provide. Poor Cinderella is the rebound. That sucks! Sidenote: people are still arranging marriages in 2015. It has worked for some but not in this case. I think the prince should have been nicer to Cinderella because it was not her fault. That is so mean. She married into turmoil. She did even have her husband by her side on her death bed. This story really made me emotional. My heart goes out to the both of them. I wonder why the two just did not get a divorce. I would like to know how their child felt about everything. Kids notice a lot and understand more than adults think. Did he resent his mother too or hate his dad for treating her bad?
ReplyDeleteHey Shelby! This was my first time visiting your storybook, but I was excited to see what you'd do with it. I was intrigued by your title because i've read all of the original Grimm's fairy tales and that is exactly how i'd describe them. They aren't the happy, sugar-coated stories we've come to know so well. I read your introduction and liked the fact that you started it off with engaging questions. It made for a good hook and enticed me to read more. I really like your writing style and felt like your introduction was excellent. I also read your sleeping beauty story and LOVED that you wrote it in first person. I really enjoyed the dark nature of your story and the way you told it. It's awful that she lost her mom, dad, and husband all so suddenly and due to something she had not control over. I mean, come on, she was a baby! She didn't choose not to invite the fairy. I'm glad her baby survived though, that would just be too tragic.
ReplyDeleteHi Shelby,
ReplyDeleteI just read your story entitled "Prince Not-so-Charming," and enjoyed it immensely. The balance of dialogue was excellent, the flow of the narrative was spot-on, and the descriptions of the characters' emotions was perfect. I especially enjoyed the idea that you used for the tragic ending - the cliche sense of happiness found in fairy tales always makes me gag, so thanks for "jolting" your reader by doing something different. It's a good way to think outside of the box and is certainly a novel and interesting way of retelling these stories.
I only have one minor critique, and it's not even essential that you change it. I simply noticed that in the prince's explanation of why he married Cinderella, the prince uses the phrase "insults were thrown about." To me, this sounds like it's in passive voice. My sense of the story's flow was uninterrupted until I got to this phrase, simply because it sounded slightly awkward and took me a moment to process.
Overall, both the story and the theme of the narrative are spot-on. Thanks for writing this story and coming up with something very fresh and intriguing. Nicely done.
I decided to come back and read more of your storybook as my extra project post. I am glad that I did. I read the second story, A Prince's Tale of Woe. It was a little hard for me to read because Beauty and the Beast is one of my all time favorites but I did enjoy your version of it. I thought it was really creative of you to have Beauty have a mysterious illness that she refused to acknowledge. It showed the soft side of Beast by describing how concerned he had been for the woman that he loved. You did a really good job of showing just how hurt he was by seeing her like that. It was really sad but I thought that you did a great job. The story flowed really well and I will definitely have to come back and read some more of your storybook. I loved the happy ending but I find it so interesting to see how it could have turned out otherwise. Great job.
ReplyDeleteThis Storybook is perfect. A friend of mine took an internship at Disney this past year, so I see all of her pictures and am reminded of all of the fairy tales I was told as a child. I was, of course, a little disappointed when I read your stories... But it's great that you left a little joy in the princess's life. I read the Introduction and After Sleeping Beauty Woke. You let Sleeping Beauty have a baby girl despite loosing her other close ones. That's sort of a happy ending. I'm a sucker for them, so I look for them everywhere. It was also good that you refreshed the reader on the events leading up to the princess falling asleep. I had forgotten why. Your story wouldn't have made as much sense to me if you hadn't included a little history. So thank you! You've done a very good job building your Storybook! Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteShelby, I really like the general theme of your storybook! Sometimes I get a little fed up with perfect fairytale endings, so this is a very entertaining premise for a storybook. I read the Cinderella sequel story at the end, and really enjoyed it... although I would say that I would hate if this were actually a true sequel! The whole Cinderella's Castle thing at Disney would be a bit of a downer if that were the case. Something that I really admire about your writing is how excellently you employ dialogue. I personally struggle with integrating dialogue into my stories, but it flows so perfectly in yours. My only critique would be the way it ended was a little abrupt. Granted, I am sure for the sake of space it had to be generalized, but I think it would have been nice to hear a little bit more about Charles or the end of her days. I also think part of me longs for some redemption, but the whole "Tragically Ever After" thing wouldn't really fit then. Great job, great storybook!
ReplyDeleteShelby, I decided to critique your storybook because the title enticed me, after seeing it I really wanted to know what it was all about. I was not a big fan of your site theme and layout. The colors were fitting but everything else seemed stiff and boring. It might be beneficial to go back and take another look at the Google site themes either for ideas or use. Your title, like I stated earlier, really is excellent and even the pictures you use are fitting. I really think with some more work with the site theme, layout and fonts your could really round out your storybook. I went ahead and read your third tale for critique (Prince Not-So-Charming). Is this going to be your final tale or are you going to add one more? It was really well written and flowed nicely. I did not catch any errors but one more out loud read through can never hurt. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Shelby! Wow, did I ever enjoy your storybook!!! I love the fact that you took the classic "happily ever after" stories and turned them around to have dark endings. That was wildly creative and imaginative. This type of storybook is something that almost all of the other ones didn't do and I like that you went on an original path with your ideas.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed that you picked the most well known stories too. Everyone should be quite familiar with how the stories are supposed to go. Lol Each story had its' own unique unhappy ending too, which I thought was great.
The pictures you chose were spot on for each story and I loved how your Introduction page told us what to expect and to turn back if the reader didn't want to read about unhappy endings. I didn't find any grammatical errors or any spelling errors which is awesome. Your writing style is easy to read and very detailed.
Overall, I thought you did a great job on your storybook and I also enjoyed reading some of your other posts as well. You most definitely have a passion for writing and I think you should continue to write, if that is what you want to do. I wish you the best with the rest of this semester, the rest of your classes and in pursuing your dreams! Take care!
Hey Shelby! I absolutely love your storybook! I'm a sucker for fairytales and this is a while new twist to it. I actually like all the miserable things happen in the fairytales... it kind of reminded me of that one TV show called Once Upon A Time. I saw you put that picture on your page and was like "Ah hah!" This really reminded me of that show. I think my favorite is the one with the "prince not so charming" it was pretty cool that you made him marry Cinderella just to keep his position in the throne. That is so clever. I actually read through all your stories. I think yours is the best by far, in my opinion. Although there wasn't much to your layout. I thought your stories were so interesting. I do like the picture of the dark forest you put on the front page. Overall, very good job! I really liked all the stories. Hopefully there will be more soon even I know that this class is coming to an end.
ReplyDeleteI really loved reading your storybook. I think you did a great job with taking the idea of happily ever after and tossing it out the window. It worked really well with you using stories that are these iconic tales with the happily ever after endings. You did a great job continuing them and making them feel connected to the original. I particularly liked your continuation of the Cinderella story. Prince Not-So-Charming indeed with the way he was acting. The way you handled his character in transitioning him to being bitter and angry was great with everything having been an act for his father to gain the throne. I also really loved your telling of beauty and the beast. I thought this was great because it's a very real scenario with an illness. There's no reason behind it and sometimes these things just happen. Overall I think you did a really fantastic job!
ReplyDeleteShelby!
ReplyDeleteI just read the "After Sleeping Beauty Woke" story and I am so glad I did. I think I said this last time I commented, but it is a little refreshing to have stories that don't give you this picture perfect life. I have never thought about how the rest of sleeping beauty's life went because I read the "Heppily ever after" and just assume. But the way your storybook is written, it makes me think about the after. I think you are on to something here, because I am with you that the fairy wouldn't let this happen. Her original plan was foiled to ruin the beauty's life, so of course she has to go in for round 2. I thought it hard to believe that a paper cut would killl him, but I guess that is the strength of the curse. This is very well-written and I can see why it was one of the favorites!
I really enjoyed your introduction! I thought it drew me in really well, and set the tone for the rest of the storybook. It’s a good reminder that life doesn’t stop after the seemingly “fairy tale ending” of a story. It’s very funny and frank, which I found to be a refreshing change from the happy-go-lucky tone of the fairy tales we are used to, but that’s probably because I’m a fairly cynical person anyways. Your story of Sleeping Beauty was really tragic in such a great way. I thought that the revenge that the 13th fairy gets on her is very fitting considering how much trouble she tried to cause in the first place. Having Beauty killed by cancer was a really great way to bring tragedy to such a strong love story, and it’s a tragedy that a lot of people can understand and relate to. I’ve also wondered how many unexplained deaths in the past were due to cancer, but I guess it’s kind of impossible to know for sure!
ReplyDelete